I hate her
by Witka
Summary: Neji contemplated his feelings for his cousin.


This is a little Neji ficlet that I was inspired to write. There might be some spoilers for the chuunin exam, but not many. I still think it could be better, but it's not too bad. 

Title: I hate her

Rating: G

Pairings: One-sided NejiHina

Warning: This fic has incest, at least implied incest If you don't like it, don't read. 

Please Review! ^_^

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I hate my cousin. Everyone knows this. I'm mean to her, I insult her, I've made her cry, and I've beaten her to a pulp. I hate Hinata everyone knows this. I've made sure they know it. Because she's in the main house and she's weak, and I'm in a branch house and I'm strong. It's too much a paradox for me. I look at the life Hinata had in the main house, and I can't help but think that that was what I should have. 

Shy, quiet, weak, insecure Hinata. She knows she's weak; she admits that to everyone, and most importantly to herself. I tell myself she is weak, that she has no confidence. I tell myself it her nature to be weak, that her lack of confidence makes her weak. I tell myself that she will always be weak, so that I won't think that if she learned to have more confidence in herself she could be one of the strongest ninja in Konoha.

Sometimes I think if she could, she'd switch our places. She's kind and caring and likes to help people more than she likes to kill them. It's another reason to hate her. She's always let everyone push her around. Me, her father, her sister, everyone. If she stood up and fought she would be more than just a pawn for her father to marry off when she's old enough. Of course it would take confidence in her worth to do that, and many people have made sure she doesn't have a lot of that. I tell myself that I'm angry at her when I watch her father verbally tell her she's worthless. I tell myself that I'm mad at her for not fighting back when she should, and that I'm not mad at the person picking on her.

I hate her, everyone knows this, I've made sure they know it. I made sure, so no one wonders why I stare at her anytime she's nearby. I know everything about her. Like her favorite color being blue, or that she was afraid of the dark when she was little, that her father is cold to her and that she has a crush on Uzumaki Naruto. Stupid boy's too blind to see it. 

I hate shy, stuttering, weak Hinata. I remind myself of it everyday. Every time I see her, I have to remind myself of that. Because if I don't then I start to notice that she's pretty, and that when she grows up she'll probably be one of the most beautiful girls in the village. I remind myself that it's weak of her to offer ointment to people who have been injured instead of focusing on the fight ahead, because if I do I'll start to be amazed by her compassion. 

I watch her because I hate her. I tell myself this all the time. When I see her blush and stutter at Naruto I get angry. I tell myself that I'm angry at her, wasting her time on crushes and love instead of training. I tell myself that I'm angry that because it would be horrible to have him be part of the Hyuuga clan. That burning fire in my stomach when I watch her is not jealousy. I can't be jealous, because I hate her.

I was annoyed when she didn't back down at the chuunin fight. She should have, even her teammate thought so. I told her to give up; I was willing to let her go without hurting her. She really isn't suited to be a ninja. Not a ninja of Hyuuga at least. But she didn't, she just stood there and tried to fight me. I hate her, everyone knows this, so no one was surprised that I was gleeful and over zealous in my attacks. I told myself I hate her, so of course I couldn't be proud that she managed to stand up against me, that she proved the she had the ability to be brave. It was stupid of her. If she'd given up, she wouldn't have gotten hurt. I wouldn't have had to hurt her. I wouldn't have had to feel that sick churning in my guy when they pulled her out on the stretcher.

I hate Hinata. She knows this, she accepts it without question. Everyone knows I hate her. I tell myself I hate her. Because if I don't hate her… I'm afraid that I'll start to feel something else for her… And that's too dangerous.

I hate my cousin. Everyone knows this. Everyone believes this. Everyone except me.


End file.
